Last year I wanted to go to my brother's place, but what a load to put on June. Should I travel that far? Should I expect her to invest that amount of time when I had been Mr time consuming investment from her over the past 6 weeks?
Answer: No. I needed to take myself out of the middle and serve June. Hard because I felt that I had already missed so much. But even more realizing that God was leading and pressing into me priorities of life and family patterns.
So here we are back in real time on Thanksgiving Day 2011. I am profoundly grateful for life, for health, for God's persistent grace and pressing presence.
One of the most vivid images of my experience is the dwelling, pressing presence of God. In the natural I recall the pressed int the bed sort of feeling as I awoke from the appendix surgery in Prague. But then time and time again the pressed into God sort of feeling as I maneuvered the path of recovery.
My journal celebrates when I was home for a longer stretch of days than I had spent in the hospital and keeps measuring that span: longer than my most recent stay, longer than total number of days in the hospital etc. Looking back it reflects the awareness of the unknown next day. After compressed ups and downs would the path toward healing stay straight?
It is how we face life. No promise of tomorrow. So how do we face and hold today?
I want to live each day preparing for the long term and resting in the contentment of today; He abides, He dwells, he speaks.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 19
Journel verbatim:
I arrived home today! 1 week at UMMC + 2 days prior at Laurel Regional. I am grateful for life. Grateful for my family and ... loving home. We chose you Lord. We say for this household we will serve you.
You are a strong and loving God!
I think this is only my 8th night @ home since I left for Wales a month and a day ago. 19 nights in the hospital. The remainder in Europe and travel and transit....
Lord, thank-you for the path toward healing. Continue to move upon me Great Physician; body, should and spirit.
I arrived home today! 1 week at UMMC + 2 days prior at Laurel Regional. I am grateful for life. Grateful for my family and ... loving home. We chose you Lord. We say for this household we will serve you.
You are a strong and loving God!
I think this is only my 8th night @ home since I left for Wales a month and a day ago. 19 nights in the hospital. The remainder in Europe and travel and transit....
Lord, thank-you for the path toward healing. Continue to move upon me Great Physician; body, should and spirit.
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 18
The surgeries are over and I was sent to a normal room. First time in a week with no heart monitor.
Dr Gopal, the vascular surgeon, recommended highly by me, is a straight shooter. He came in and said: Your vein is very diseased. You could get clots again. Later in life you can have sores on your leg which could be difficult to heal. Wear the pressure sock to delay this....
That was discouraging. No reassurance that this operation healed anything. It did eliminate the immediate pressure problem and the prognosis from a medical perspective is for for several evades in the future which could have been occurring in a very few years if not for the operation.
If I can inject myself every day with Lovenox I can go home. Giving myself a shot is not a pleasant thought but I will do it to be at home! Bring on the needle!
Longer term: What does this mean? Are there life direction decisions to make now growing from this? Doctors are not saying do not fly, so nothing definite coming from there.
One again I am in a preference for passivity for decisions to be more clear cut. Exert faith is the operative word, not formed in me but a reoccurring theme as I put this into a blog today.
Dr Gopal, the vascular surgeon, recommended highly by me, is a straight shooter. He came in and said: Your vein is very diseased. You could get clots again. Later in life you can have sores on your leg which could be difficult to heal. Wear the pressure sock to delay this....
That was discouraging. No reassurance that this operation healed anything. It did eliminate the immediate pressure problem and the prognosis from a medical perspective is for for several evades in the future which could have been occurring in a very few years if not for the operation.
If I can inject myself every day with Lovenox I can go home. Giving myself a shot is not a pleasant thought but I will do it to be at home! Bring on the needle!
Longer term: What does this mean? Are there life direction decisions to make now growing from this? Doctors are not saying do not fly, so nothing definite coming from there.
One again I am in a preference for passivity for decisions to be more clear cut. Exert faith is the operative word, not formed in me but a reoccurring theme as I put this into a blog today.
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 16
Today was difficult. June's Grandmother was buried today after 95 years of a God glorifying life. So June Lia and Austin were up in PA to attend the funeral. Consequently June did not come into the hospital earlier in the day as she would have otherwise.
I was told I would go into surgery early in the morning but I waited and waited with no explanation. It was not until mid-afternoon that I was taken in for the procedure. Later I found out that a donated liver had become available and they needed to do that operation first! No problem, I can wait for such a noble reason!
The ICU is an incredible place. Life hanging in the balance in every bed. A nurse said to me one day: You are probably the only patient in here who is appreciating the football on TV today!
I was told I would go into surgery early in the morning but I waited and waited with no explanation. It was not until mid-afternoon that I was taken in for the procedure. Later I found out that a donated liver had become available and they needed to do that operation first! No problem, I can wait for such a noble reason!
The ICU is an incredible place. Life hanging in the balance in every bed. A nurse said to me one day: You are probably the only patient in here who is appreciating the football on TV today!
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 14-17
Today I went into the operating room for the first stage of a multiple day procedure to remove the clot. A filter was first inserted into my vena cava vein to catch any clot particles that break off. (That is expected to remain there as a long term preventative measure not uncommon with multiple DVT episodes.) Then a clot busting drug will drip into my vein via a catheter and each day for a number of days I will go into surgery and have the loosened portion cleaned out and a new trouble spot tackled. That is only an hour or two per day. The rest of the time? Flat on my back, no sitting up in bed, in the intensive care unit. (It will end up being 4 days.)
This is medical science at its best trying get my blood flowing through my vein again.
From my journal:
Father, your river of life is stopped up at places ad not able to have the life giving flow you desire. Please bust the clots of religion, of tradition, of whatever keeps your river of life from flowing as it should. Let the operation today in the physical be a prayer and plea for you to do int he spiritual. Even let it be your prophetic proclamation and intent as your work through the people and procedure today. Let it be so your river flows into the dry and dusty places of our lives.
This is medical science at its best trying get my blood flowing through my vein again.
From my journal:
Father, your river of life is stopped up at places ad not able to have the life giving flow you desire. Please bust the clots of religion, of tradition, of whatever keeps your river of life from flowing as it should. Let the operation today in the physical be a prayer and plea for you to do int he spiritual. Even let it be your prophetic proclamation and intent as your work through the people and procedure today. Let it be so your river flows into the dry and dusty places of our lives.
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 13
Last evening I was transferred to the University of Maryland Medical Center in downtown Baltimore. No food or liquids by mouth so I can go into surgery quickly if possible when the vascular doctors see me.
What a different hospital this is! Lots of doctors coming by checking in. I am excited to be here in Baltimore, this so significant a city for June and me.
What should be done since your clot did not respond to the normal treatment? That is the focused question.
Less than 48 hours ago a prayer: Clarity and accuracy in diagnosis and here I am new hospital, clarified direction, readiness for intervention as useful in my situation.
My mind is full of what this means. How is God redirecting me and reforming my heart and realigning my call and activity of life that fulfills that call?
Perhaps the promotion which was about o come my way and then was blocked was not a strike of confusion and reluctance to move out of the status sue by my co-workers as I assumed but was actually the restraining hand of the Lord because his purpose is for a turning for me in a new direction?
I feel my hand and mind loosening on an insistence of what EMM should be and recognizing a distinction of my thoughts and call and what God may have for me and for EMM.
Define what you are called to, what are the limits of what you will give yourself to?
What a different hospital this is! Lots of doctors coming by checking in. I am excited to be here in Baltimore, this so significant a city for June and me.
What should be done since your clot did not respond to the normal treatment? That is the focused question.
Less than 48 hours ago a prayer: Clarity and accuracy in diagnosis and here I am new hospital, clarified direction, readiness for intervention as useful in my situation.
My mind is full of what this means. How is God redirecting me and reforming my heart and realigning my call and activity of life that fulfills that call?
Perhaps the promotion which was about o come my way and then was blocked was not a strike of confusion and reluctance to move out of the status sue by my co-workers as I assumed but was actually the restraining hand of the Lord because his purpose is for a turning for me in a new direction?
I feel my hand and mind loosening on an insistence of what EMM should be and recognizing a distinction of my thoughts and call and what God may have for me and for EMM.
Define what you are called to, what are the limits of what you will give yourself to?
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 11-12
The clot has grown--while on coumadin--not supposed to happen. It is in my right thigh into my groin up to the point of the appendix operation.
So what is occurring? I lay here in the hospital but the swelling is still increasing. I think I felt it growing. I thought it lingering effect of my surgery but now I think it was the clot growing and pressing tighter in my vein.
Back to the fog on the path forward, but still choosing life, still worshipping, still asking for clarity to come.
Today Joe King came in and prayed for clarity and accuracy in diagnosis.
A verse from a mother in the church:
For you oh Lord have delivered my should from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living (Ps 116:8,9)
Deliverance from the Lord with a 2 fold promise:
> That I will walk!
> That it will be in the land of the living
Deep within my spirit is this revelation:
The Son does not revolve around me, I revolve around the Son.
I do not demand of the Lord but I ask full of faith in accordance with the word of faith planted within me.
And finally a word in a card from a friend who has suffered illness of greater magnitude than mine:
The hands that fashioned the universe
Are strong enough to heal you
And gentle enough to hold you
I pray that you find rest and healing in the arms of our loving Father.
Interesting...as the uncertainty of the circumstances go up so do the words of reassurance that God is strong, he is loving and relates with me in that consistency.
So what is occurring? I lay here in the hospital but the swelling is still increasing. I think I felt it growing. I thought it lingering effect of my surgery but now I think it was the clot growing and pressing tighter in my vein.
Back to the fog on the path forward, but still choosing life, still worshipping, still asking for clarity to come.
Today Joe King came in and prayed for clarity and accuracy in diagnosis.
A verse from a mother in the church:
For you oh Lord have delivered my should from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living (Ps 116:8,9)
Deliverance from the Lord with a 2 fold promise:
> That I will walk!
> That it will be in the land of the living
Deep within my spirit is this revelation:
The Son does not revolve around me, I revolve around the Son.
I do not demand of the Lord but I ask full of faith in accordance with the word of faith planted within me.
And finally a word in a card from a friend who has suffered illness of greater magnitude than mine:
The hands that fashioned the universe
Are strong enough to heal you
And gentle enough to hold you
I pray that you find rest and healing in the arms of our loving Father.
Interesting...as the uncertainty of the circumstances go up so do the words of reassurance that God is strong, he is loving and relates with me in that consistency.
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 10
Back in the hospital!
My leg was swollen larger than ever before and more painful than even the appendicitis. To walk young home I would lean on a chair that I would keep pushing in front of me like a walker.
Just 2 days at home and now back in the hospital again.
Austin texted me: In youth drop they talked about Ruth, lots of bad stuff happened but in the end t was good. He was encouraged by that...and in that he was so was I.
Lia had a good talk with Ms Kim, one of the youth leaders. She listens well she said. What grace to have other persons coming to the side of my children in this vulnerable time.
My leg was swollen larger than ever before and more painful than even the appendicitis. To walk young home I would lean on a chair that I would keep pushing in front of me like a walker.
Just 2 days at home and now back in the hospital again.
Austin texted me: In youth drop they talked about Ruth, lots of bad stuff happened but in the end t was good. He was encouraged by that...and in that he was so was I.
Lia had a good talk with Ms Kim, one of the youth leaders. She listens well she said. What grace to have other persons coming to the side of my children in this vulnerable time.
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 8 - 10
Since I am not in pain the abdomen and gall bladder and whatever else will need to tend to itself under the Lord's watchful gaze. No surgery should be done since a portion of clot is already broken off and lodged in my lung. The doctor put me back on coumadin, a blood thinner, to avoid future clots. And I am sent home form the hospital. Continued drug therapy is the expected course toward resolution. I have lost weight. All is not well but June has a sense that the gall bladder is a smoke screen to bring confusion.
Another word of Scripture sent from a friend:
It is clear to us friends,
That God not only loves you very much
but also has put his hand upon you for something special
(I Thes. 1:3)
Accompanied with this was a word, this is transition: You have been pushing many wheelbarrows you are to push just one.
Another word of counsel: Put your ministry involvements on a continuum with what you can and cannot do.
Another word of Scripture sent from a friend:
It is clear to us friends,
That God not only loves you very much
but also has put his hand upon you for something special
(I Thes. 1:3)
Accompanied with this was a word, this is transition: You have been pushing many wheelbarrows you are to push just one.
Another word of counsel: Put your ministry involvements on a continuum with what you can and cannot do.
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 7
What an amazing, humbling awareness to participate in a healthy functioning portion of the body of Christ, his church. Over 25 visitors today--my rooms as delightfully crowded at times! So much love, so many prayers. One memorable moment was the diving timing to have my friends Neal, and Tilahun both present at the same time. They stormed heaven and laid hands on me for healing. A palatable sense of the presence of God.
And from another person, a word from the Lord: This experience is a defining moment that defines a season and leads me in a different direction.
(And now one year later I see how true that is.)
And from another person, a word from the Lord: This experience is a defining moment that defines a season and leads me in a different direction.
(And now one year later I see how true that is.)
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 6
The Brian Doerksen's CD "Today (as for me and my house)" is ministering deeply to me. Today I chose life, I chose your way God--even when circumstances are swirling around my health and doctors are wondering what to do next.
In the midst of the storm of uncertainty there is a calm of trust and intimacy of grace. First with God in these songs of worship. Closely connected with June, Lia and Austin.
Today Austin spent much of the day at the hospital with me and at the and of the day said: It was really good. What a blessing to be told that by my teen age son who just spent the day in my hospital room.
Thanks, Austin!
It was Lia's firsts ay of work at the Amish Market. Se came to the hospital afterward excited with the experience of her first real day of working for pay. Life goes on around me. It does not stop and wait for me to get well. But as my life activity is slowed and greatly altered it allows me to notice the lives of those I love most closely in a new way.
Austin, Lia, June and I played a game of Yahtzee on my hospital bed. Austin who was reluctant to play ended up winning with Lia close behind. I was delighted!
I am alert, interacting, aware, involved, just not moving well. My mind and spirit heart and emotions are well. My body is confusing and confounding the learning of science of how it should respond. I am experiencing the words of Apostle Paul, outwardly wasting away yet inwardly renewed day by day.
Another poignant moment, full of courage and honesty with my should mate: June I do not have any premonition but if I should die this is what I would like for my funeral...
In the midst of the storm of uncertainty there is a calm of trust and intimacy of grace. First with God in these songs of worship. Closely connected with June, Lia and Austin.
Today Austin spent much of the day at the hospital with me and at the and of the day said: It was really good. What a blessing to be told that by my teen age son who just spent the day in my hospital room.
Thanks, Austin!
It was Lia's firsts ay of work at the Amish Market. Se came to the hospital afterward excited with the experience of her first real day of working for pay. Life goes on around me. It does not stop and wait for me to get well. But as my life activity is slowed and greatly altered it allows me to notice the lives of those I love most closely in a new way.
Austin, Lia, June and I played a game of Yahtzee on my hospital bed. Austin who was reluctant to play ended up winning with Lia close behind. I was delighted!
I am alert, interacting, aware, involved, just not moving well. My mind and spirit heart and emotions are well. My body is confusing and confounding the learning of science of how it should respond. I am experiencing the words of Apostle Paul, outwardly wasting away yet inwardly renewed day by day.
Another poignant moment, full of courage and honesty with my should mate: June I do not have any premonition but if I should die this is what I would like for my funeral...
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 5
The straight line from appendicitis to healing is not occurring--it is twisting and hazy at best. The blood clot--the piece that broke off into my lung--the lingering abdominal infection and diagnostic suggestion that my gall bladder is none functional. We are no longer on track for a quick return to the normal assumption of life and health. So trust, step 1. What else is God speaking?
A trusted friend in Hong Kong called and said she had a reoccurring prophetic word that the illness I was experiencing was a spiritual attack stirred up by my ministry trip in Europe, Wales specifically where I was when I started to fall ill. The attack was still underway indicated by the confusion surrounding my treatment and lack of apparent progress in healing.
The call came to June late in the evening. June wondered should I go charging back to the hospital ignore the closed doors and after hours notices and simply say: My husband is under spiritual attack I must get to him? Well, maybe not, I was also in God's safe keeping. So she called me, we committed it to the Lord and agreed to deal with it the next day.
But then June said, how was she to fall asleep in the wake of this word that her husband's very life was under spiritual threat?
As June lay in bed she had a vision of me in my hospital bed. But I was not alone. Surrounding the bed were 12 husky men facing outward guarding my bed against spiritual harm. And in that revelation June slept peacefully.
The next morning June came in; we prayed together and spoke out breaking the curse in the name of Jesus, recommitted ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus alone, and shared communion together as a symbolic act demonstrating that the curse would be broken upon me. It was an intimate and moving time bringing June and me onto he same page believing the Lord for healing and resting in confidence that his strength and love were mightily active.
Why the protection as seen in the vision? Because the global body of Christ was unleashed in prayer. The word was getting out that Glenn had more at stake than a simple appendicitis surgery and the body was responding. Throughout our network of churches here in this region, our family and friends and notably the international connections I had gained from ministry travel over the years were praying and letting us know of their prayers.
June and I had a ring side seat to watch and experience how the Lord works in the face of his people's prayers.
A trusted friend in Hong Kong called and said she had a reoccurring prophetic word that the illness I was experiencing was a spiritual attack stirred up by my ministry trip in Europe, Wales specifically where I was when I started to fall ill. The attack was still underway indicated by the confusion surrounding my treatment and lack of apparent progress in healing.
The call came to June late in the evening. June wondered should I go charging back to the hospital ignore the closed doors and after hours notices and simply say: My husband is under spiritual attack I must get to him? Well, maybe not, I was also in God's safe keeping. So she called me, we committed it to the Lord and agreed to deal with it the next day.
But then June said, how was she to fall asleep in the wake of this word that her husband's very life was under spiritual threat?
As June lay in bed she had a vision of me in my hospital bed. But I was not alone. Surrounding the bed were 12 husky men facing outward guarding my bed against spiritual harm. And in that revelation June slept peacefully.
The next morning June came in; we prayed together and spoke out breaking the curse in the name of Jesus, recommitted ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus alone, and shared communion together as a symbolic act demonstrating that the curse would be broken upon me. It was an intimate and moving time bringing June and me onto he same page believing the Lord for healing and resting in confidence that his strength and love were mightily active.
Why the protection as seen in the vision? Because the global body of Christ was unleashed in prayer. The word was getting out that Glenn had more at stake than a simple appendicitis surgery and the body was responding. Throughout our network of churches here in this region, our family and friends and notably the international connections I had gained from ministry travel over the years were praying and letting us know of their prayers.
June and I had a ring side seat to watch and experience how the Lord works in the face of his people's prayers.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Reflecting One Year Later -- November 2 -4
After five days at home healing and dealing with some lingering infection issues in my abdomen, prompting a cat scan, some antibiotics and a warning from the surgeon, if the fever spikes go to the emergency room--that indeed is what happened. My fever spiked, June took me to the emergency room, Pastor Nelson from CCF came to stay with me, and the ER doctor diagnosed me with DVT--a blood clot in my right upper thigh. We are not keeping you here for whatever is going on in the abdomen but we are keeping you here for the DVT, the ER doctor said.
On Tuesday already I was experiencing pain in my upper thigh. As I recall a blood clot had crossed my mind as a possibility. But on Wednesday it was confirmed. And the focus suddenly changed.
This would be the ethos I would live in for the next number of weeks as events swirled and prognosis was uncertain. But if I already have a clot should I have surgery again on the abdominal stuff? Thursday morning I learned that not only I have a clot but a piece had already broken off and gone to my lung. Would more break off?
A break off clot in my lung and my DVT experience a decade before all meant I was in high risk group. The doctors were very serious. Heparin and then coumadin once again became my companions. When the coumadin takes effect indicates when I can go home. Established tried and settled way to deal with DVT. I remembered I had experienced it before.
But what about the original concern the lingering and mysterious abdominal infection? Would that get forgotten? Wy was my body suddenly falling apart?
I pressed in to the Lord: I need a word from you. I need a place to settle my faith. We really do not demand from God. We can't say, God this is what I want you to do for me. We can ask. And we listen and when he speaks we can pray that word in faith. We exist for God he does not exist for us.
The word came as I read the Psalms:
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:
...that you oh God are strong, and that you oh God are loving.
A word, you will be healed today would have been nice. But that as not what God spoke. Would I rise up in faith on what God chose to speak?
This pressed me to the core of my being much like I felt pressed to my bed as I woke from the surgery. This was spiritual surgery occurring. See, the most fervently and consistently I have prayed for anything in my life I have prayed for my father to be healed of cancer when I was 11. But he died. So it can be a struggle. Does God respond to prayer?
So here was the word: Glenn, as you lie here in the hospital, not healing as you expected from a familiar surgery but wondering what is going on health wise, whether your whole health is collapsing. Here is the word: I am strong. I am loving.
* Do I believe this?
* Will I exercise my faith on this?
* God will relate with me in strength and in love. He will not be unconcerned. The medical things that occur do not have God on the sidelines wringing his hands in despair.
* It was a "God I believe, help me in my unbelief" moment. I want to relate to you in this way. Give me grace so I can.
A simple word, a god chosen not a Glenn selected word. Simple to understand the words and meaning but one which took faith to receive. But my heart became steadfast as I realized: God created the world with his word. This is the same word speaking God. Yes, this God who creates and sustains the world can carry my life in a strong and loving way.
I kept resting in this word and kept placing my heart in this position. My prayers were as much not to give way to anxiety and dealing on a natural plane as it was for the actual power of God to bring physical healing to my body.
The word of God and the Spirit of God were recreating my heart and mind and bringing them into a wholeness and alignment with God's heart. In that I could rest even though I did not understand what it was--it is called trusting.
On Tuesday already I was experiencing pain in my upper thigh. As I recall a blood clot had crossed my mind as a possibility. But on Wednesday it was confirmed. And the focus suddenly changed.
This would be the ethos I would live in for the next number of weeks as events swirled and prognosis was uncertain. But if I already have a clot should I have surgery again on the abdominal stuff? Thursday morning I learned that not only I have a clot but a piece had already broken off and gone to my lung. Would more break off?
A break off clot in my lung and my DVT experience a decade before all meant I was in high risk group. The doctors were very serious. Heparin and then coumadin once again became my companions. When the coumadin takes effect indicates when I can go home. Established tried and settled way to deal with DVT. I remembered I had experienced it before.
But what about the original concern the lingering and mysterious abdominal infection? Would that get forgotten? Wy was my body suddenly falling apart?
I pressed in to the Lord: I need a word from you. I need a place to settle my faith. We really do not demand from God. We can't say, God this is what I want you to do for me. We can ask. And we listen and when he speaks we can pray that word in faith. We exist for God he does not exist for us.
The word came as I read the Psalms:
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:
...that you oh God are strong, and that you oh God are loving.
A word, you will be healed today would have been nice. But that as not what God spoke. Would I rise up in faith on what God chose to speak?
This pressed me to the core of my being much like I felt pressed to my bed as I woke from the surgery. This was spiritual surgery occurring. See, the most fervently and consistently I have prayed for anything in my life I have prayed for my father to be healed of cancer when I was 11. But he died. So it can be a struggle. Does God respond to prayer?
So here was the word: Glenn, as you lie here in the hospital, not healing as you expected from a familiar surgery but wondering what is going on health wise, whether your whole health is collapsing. Here is the word: I am strong. I am loving.
* Do I believe this?
* Will I exercise my faith on this?
* God will relate with me in strength and in love. He will not be unconcerned. The medical things that occur do not have God on the sidelines wringing his hands in despair.
* It was a "God I believe, help me in my unbelief" moment. I want to relate to you in this way. Give me grace so I can.
A simple word, a god chosen not a Glenn selected word. Simple to understand the words and meaning but one which took faith to receive. But my heart became steadfast as I realized: God created the world with his word. This is the same word speaking God. Yes, this God who creates and sustains the world can carry my life in a strong and loving way.
I kept resting in this word and kept placing my heart in this position. My prayers were as much not to give way to anxiety and dealing on a natural plane as it was for the actual power of God to bring physical healing to my body.
The word of God and the Spirit of God were recreating my heart and mind and bringing them into a wholeness and alignment with God's heart. In that I could rest even though I did not understand what it was--it is called trusting.
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