Reflecting One Year Later -- December 15, 2010

Today is Pradaxa day! One year ago today the hematologist prescribed a new blood thinner drug for me: Pradaxa.  Consequently I could stop taking coumadin, which did not stabilize well in my body. I was referred to as coumadin resistant.

Pradaxa was approved for use in the USA on October 18, the very day I left for Europe, where this medical adventure began.  Two months later it was prescribed for me.  An amazing drug it is!  It is a capsule taken morning and evening -- no blood tests or any other test.  It breaks down in 12 to 17 hours (half life) so there is little danger of it accumulating to dangerous levels as with coumadin.  The doctor prescribed it saying that coumadin was ineffective for me and otherwise I would need to keep on giving myself injections of Lovenox quite expensive and harder to administer.

The remarkable availability of this drug at just the point that I can benefit from it--a doctor who prescribes it--medical insurance which easily agreed to cover it--it is more than I can say I deserve.  But for it I am very grateful.

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to experience this new generation of medical therapy.  To not need the needles of blood testing or of injections is a relief.

But I lose being part of the belly bruise group--caused by those daily or twice daily injections.  It was a good point of identity--a sort of secret society.  When someone would ask about my illness and recovery occasionally he/she would get a knowing look and say, oh you have black and blue marks: Yeh, you understand what it is like....

Moving on to a new stage of health means releasing the previous stage.  And in previous stages there were the points of identity and meaning.  Letting go is a loss but what is gained is better.

Sometimes in other aspects of life it is hard to step away from places we receive security and identity even when that identity is rooted in dysfunction of some kind.  Hard to step away even when there is a promise of greater health or well being by moving on with the new.

I hear God drawing and saying: Let go, come to me....

Reflecting One Year Later -- December 10, 2010

Today was the day my blood thinned to an INR of 3.4 and I could stop giving myself daily injections of Lovenox.  3 weeks is not a long time and many people need to give themselves even multiple injections every day for years on end.  But it was a new experience for me.  Injecting myself was a condition for release from the hospital.  It was projected I would need to inject myself for about 3 days until my blood reached the the desired level.  But it took 3 weeks.  And in those 18 extra days was the uncertainty, once again.  What is happening now?  Why doesn't my blood respond more normally?  The 3 time per week blood testing -- was one of the more predictable pieces of my weekly schedule.

Waiting--delayed results with less than clear understanding of what is going on; that is not uncommon in life in general.  We make a financial investment and the stock market drops.  Or we take a step of faith and God seems slow for respond and honor it and we need to continually remind ourselves we did not take the step because God guaranteed a certain result, we did it because God is glorified in obedient faith. Obedience, persistence is glorifying to God and when that is the fruit of my life it is meaningful and worthwhile.